“Trusting the unknown again came very slowly. I began by climbing mountain paths and enjoying the splendor of each new scene as I rounded a bend.”
-Janie
In 2001, my daughter, Joann, was brutally murdered. From the moment I heard of Joann’s death, my life transformed from multi-dimensional spiritual introspection to a flat line existence. I had no idea who I was or what I believed anymore. I set out on a journey of self discovery.
The thrill of finding each new truth became the fuel for my spirit. Slowly, as I began to live life as myself, moments became precious and relationships warmed my soul. The most powerful gift I received along the way was discovering that we are never separated from those we love. Even in death, our loved ones are present and exercise a power for good in lives.
My goal in 2001 was not only to meet and love ME, but be an example of authentically being in the moment and embracing life. During one of my only sane moments that first year, I wrote on a piece of paper and put in a beautiful container what I needed to survive the experience and grow from it. It reads: I pray to something, somewhere to have a true connection with God and Joann, a nurturing and guiding relationship with my son Cayce and the ability to make the world a better place through my faith and actions. I suggest that you set a goal for what you want your life to accomplish and place it in a beautiful, safe place.
For me, the key to living a rewarding life today is living in the moment. I have created a spiritual toolbox full of truths and ways to bring me back to myself and the moment, should I lose my way…and I do. Yoga is not helpful to me but riding my bike brings me totally back into the moment. When riding I have no relationship roles – I am not a mom, an employee or friend – just ME riding my bike. I have learned not to expend extra “worry” energy by focusing on the top of a hill I am climbing; I focus on the road just in front of me and complete the climb one pedal at a time.
 Joann and I on one of our many adventures, living life to the fullest! |
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